Thursday, 2 May 2013

nine months later

Here I go. Everything is set for the coming war. I have supplies and all my contingencies just in case all hell has broken loose. One last check because there is no second chance once it begins. Whew!! Nine months of putting out land mines and can't even remember the count anymore and one figures nothing should be able to scare at this point, but early radar signs show that this onslaught should rival K-pop in explosive magnitude.
I'm going into the battlezone. Like all fathers of this land has done before, I shall brave what keeps coming.
So now.
"Honey... I'll take him from you now," my son Tulkas mogogashi jambambala electrik sonyoshada gives his approval by gripping around my forearm with both arms excitedly.
"Da da da da da da....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhh" he thinks we're going to another play zone. We call them Tulkas Zones.
"Yeah's time for change," and this is not playland for daddy.
The early radar report was spot on. We have breaches all over the perimeter. The shit went all the way up his neck. Mogogashi smiles on unknowing and unwavered while the goal is PLAAAAYYYYY!
"Honey! Quick! I need two more extra cloth wipes for this." Already, seconds in into the fight and not just my supplies ran low, my contingencies also went to shits.
My extra supplies flew in just time on my drop zone, and you know, i had to ask for another drop.  The shit just kept coming. It was a well organized attack as they filled every crevace on the warboard.
This is one for the history books, and maybe reflect for the future soldiers out there to put on a condom. It's stinky, wet, gooey, and definitely not for the faint of heart. War is Shit!!!!!
Just like a storm that blows in and then out again, things started to calm again.
Jambambala at this point is wailing all the way to Jupiter, because it's not playtime, it's changetime. Nobody likes change inside Tulkas Zone.
I have once again repelled the force of nature that wants to make everything dirty and stinky. War again is Shit! But, I survived this historic mark, and maybe I shall look at the smaller pissy altercations with reverence, and appreciation.
"We did it! We dit it!" Electrik T and Da da da da  deeee like to chant out victory phrase after each campaign.

Well... there it was. It's been a world of poop. Please maintain and sustain and we shall break through all clouds of war. All Wars.
I'm the happiest bomb remover in the world and I've signed on for all future campaigns. And one day, My wife and her beautiful ass was talking about a SISTER for Sonyoshada.
I'm going to need more supplies.

Friday, 2 November 2012

three months later

Well hello out there,
     3 months since my son came out and this is the first opportunity I've had in between diapers. Less than 2 months before Christmas and you know what, my tree went up early again this year. The little one is currently wacking a sleighbell that my wife bought for the tree today. Funny, watching little ones gathering their motor skills.
   Clever dude, likes to play piss on daddy when the diaper is off. Makes me refill the tub because he has not yet identified the toilet bowl. Did, I say holy cow shit DIAPERS!!  He's currently giving desitation as to when to identify moments to place boob in the mouth. Only cries when he is hungry or when his diaper needs changing. He's actually quite manageable at the moment. His name, he is the incredible Tulk. He can now hold up his own head. He is currently trying to sit up.
    He Burps like mommy, and farts like daddy.
    I thought I should add the last part in.
   So anyway, with the Andromedians going againts Draconians, huge planets crashing our solar system, there is no more truth unless be it the bond we have with our family, the Antichrist walking and living among us, and for sure Christ is with us always, oh yeah there is also the pole shift after we blow it up with thermonuclear bombs, and maybe just months away from soylent green, our DNA changing and some as walking dead, the Lakers have the wrong coach, and I think our best bet out of all this is what the Hulkster always said. Lots of vitamins, and plenty of prayers dude.
    I think the Andromedians will win again though.
    I'll see you guys in the southpole. I'll be carrying my beautiful baby boy, and holding onto my wife's beautiful ass.


Sunday, 17 June 2012

father's day

good day to all you father's out there,

    I received my first "happy father's day" greeting from my wife today, and I must say. it felt great. Who would have ever thought that I would some day get here.
    The journey to get here i present against any manga or non japanese short stories out there. I got to be a dad in the end. Woogoo Gaagaa. Damn, I can't wait to play with the kid.
    I say wow again because I just realize that us guys get another day to be made special, or remembered, or hated, however the love may come across, but us guys actually get one extra day to maybe watch a basketball game in peace, and the other days are Christmas, and my birthday, but holy cow, this extra day is amazing.
    Happy father's day y'all. I have to prepare the laundry in a minute, just baked an apple pie, with the best crust ever, and also have to do the dishes now.
    enjoy the day.


Wednesday, 13 June 2012

the saga interlude

hello friends..... nice to have you guys here again today... and today's sermon is.... sorry about that, i just wanted to lead in like an evangelist, not from los angeles, not under duress as i address, you all, maybe saul paul sitting on a stall, writing to enthral, nope it's not about gall,  i would not spread you to the wall..... again sorry about that,  i just ventured back into some of my free stylin from the old days, where everything i lays, all my ways, catching lots of rays, and now i got greys.
the beautiful ass beside me just let me know the other day that i have to at least blog about something on a regular basis, otherwise, people will just forget about it. Well thanks for all the page views guys, and i will try to keep entertaining with some of stupid point of views or at least experiences to being a new father.
   My wife and her beautiful ass bought me my first "father's day" gift the other day. My very own coffee maker. WOOOHOOO!!!I guess she got tired of watching me put the filter directly over the cup and straining boiling water over it. Also very hard to have another cup if one wants more. Also, i got to fold my first baby item yesterday when I did some of the laundry. No, the baby is not out yet, it's just that we bought some burping cloths which i though were rather stiff, and so i ran them through the wash. Revelations are kool, especially inside the laundry room. I like the idea of being a father soon. And for those that know me, tough shit, there is another one like me.I must say that i'm rather anxious at this point waiting for my son and i to have some fun times at the beach.
    I like the beach. Do you guys like the beach?
and so, that was me saying hello. and i hope you guys are having a good time today as well.
So, now on with today's blog........


Saturday, 9 June 2012

the forbidden zone

here we go, something to blog about finally. this being a blogger shit can be quiet a responsibility. I mean, it can't be exciting all the time right? Let me see... I quit my job, started a new company, and in, now to 2 months from now, my beautiful wife will have a beautiful baby to add to this mess we call sector 7 earth.
  that was my hello,
and to those that continue to read this stuff... thanks. you guys make me feel i got something to say. So, thanks.
Anyway, i went to a baby shower today. A man in the forbidden zone called "the baby shower". I was in the shitter looking deep into my head what excuses i could pull to get out of it but i could not find any good reason. So, I went and had a good time.
    I went in there thinking there would be lots of pink. You know, pink bows, pink ribbons, pink geisha girls running around serving us pink crackers and coffee. But nope and all I can is that apart from all the ribbons and bows, and crackers, .... guys, we have been missing out. They have lots of food at these things! Lots of meat. You know, MEAT. We should go to baby showers more often. I also did not win the price. Rookie mistake i guess. The game was kool though, but i think it could used some sort of ball.
    So mommy cried for all the gifts she received and everyone was happy. Holy shit. A freaking normal gathering where no-one was passing around a huge bahamian do the mamba joint. The people that offered their place also had a beautiful home, and so that was kool. I only hope they knew their was a baby shower going on inside their home while they did their driveway. Nice neighbourhood though.
    I did not get any of the cake though. Got caught up with the owners of the home while they were laying down their cobbled cement walkway. I thought i should pick up some ideas while the wife has been messing with ideas about a cob and hay bail home. Nothing too exciting of course but it does keep one from writing down shit all the time.
    And so, there you have it guys. Baby shower, Not as much pink as you would think. Lots of food. Games. No joints. Some crying. Also some cobble stoning. Kool shit.
    I thought I'd just say hi since the baby has not come out yet. Oh yeah, we also had our first "false alarm" the other night which ended up at the hospital. Her Dr. came in though it was already nearing 11 pm, and so i thought this would be the night the little shit came out, but nope... our first false alarm. Well, we were thinking of visiting the birth section facilities anyway. I guess that was one way to do it. My wife got some something stuck up her to check for an opened cervix. Nope. Okay. Go home and wait for real pain is all she said. It was free to get into the hospital, and all it costed was the cab ride. Not a bad way to change the routine that way have been in lately i guess.
    Oh yeah, thank god this was practice because i think i forgot everything.
     Good talking to all of you again, and I say dos be don ya. What? you don't like the spelling?
    And oh yes, through all of this, my wife still has her beautiful ass.


Sunday, 3 June 2012

the blogger

hello again, people of this domain,
   i supposed something has to be said about the person writing all this stuff about my wife's beautiful ass. I supposed i could say i'm canadian, done all sorts of shit, even been to outer space a while ago, i kast all sorts of good spells, collect rocks, like to fall asleep at the beach, have a beautiful wife, and now, i'm also going to be a father. So, in short, still all sorts of shit going on. Good shit though.
  So this is what I got to say today. I know bees are still dying off  in numbers, i'm pretty much convinced that i will step into fresh cow manure in the near future, and i just baked fresh bread. With Honey. We went to the farmer's  market today and you know, you can still get cookies there. She of course wanted to see everything there, because the first one we went to was an empty parking lot. I'm glad i was actually listening to her when she was naming off where these farmer's market would be. One stop away is Trout Lake. Good little market it turned out, and even watched a dog chase the ducks back in to the water. So, lots of shit.
   The Kid inside of her i think is a giant. He also wants to come out. I want him to dunk over Jordan one day.
    Also, we bought goose eggs for $2.00 each, Can you believe that? It better be worth baking the bread too. Breakfast will be awesome.
    Anyway, stepping into manure will be for building cob walls one day. Eco homes is the big discussion on the table these days. I know it's a lot of dancing. Maybe, we will need... 5 kids for this. I was waiting for a shot after I wrote that bit, and it came. She only wants 2 Kids. Or give birth to 2. I want 17. She just strangled me.
    It's a good time for sucking up now as i protect my vitals.  You know that feeling guys, when all of a sudden you got Cat Woman beside you, preying on all of your weaknesses.
    i gotta go.




Wednesday, 30 May 2012

the hobbit home

good morning afternoon evening for wherever you guys are,

     I made it through another week and so I guess I can keep the blog going. This past week, my baby moved into position in my wife's belly, and of course, her ass is still beautiful, I fired 2 people and hired 2 others, sold thousands of litres, and I recovered from the stupid lost of the Lakers from this year's NBA playoffs. And, I learned some things about cob and hay bail building. And I learned, or was it listened, about perma culture as my wife proceeds to build our nest home on some hill side in the not so distant future. Yes things are looking up, and now my wife is somewhat obsessed about building our humble, and hobbit like home.
     It has always been a dream of mine, not to live in a hobbit hole mind you, but rather a home that's neatly tucked into the land, and also remain as part of the land. She has a lay out in her head of our dream house, and you guys should see the lay out that's in mine while she describes what she has planned. Thus far, I can see myself running half a block inside my own home, and this is if i find the right route through the maze, just to take a piss. Damn guys, the only thing I want is a hefner grotto in my bath, and maybe a good flushing shitter, but, that's about it. I hate plunging.
     Also, we have to build quickly I believe since the kid seems like he wants to come out early. The doctor says that he is huge. He is actually 5 weeks ahead of projection in terms of his size, and I keep making a joke to my wife that he will be close to 50 cm, the average for babies born being only 35 cm, and he should replace the whole defence of the Vancouver Canucks in another year. My wife also now thinks she has a huge ass, but i still think it's beautiful. She just rolled out of bed, i mean literally rolled out of bed, so I guess i have to talk to you guys another day.
    Please enjoy another week looking at that big bright object in the western skies.
    I guess i did not say much about the hobbit home after all. I'll fill you guys in as we lay down the foundation. This is also what happens when I get caught thinking about rolling around in the mud with my beautiful wife and her beautiful ass.