Saturday, 19 May 2012

the CSS CRIB 0917206686

hello fathers and future fathers out there,
     I'd just like to say that it is okay to end up with extra pieces of bolts and nuts, and part of the crib frame unused or unattached after putting together the baby's crib. "I wonder where these pieces go," is usually what I say after building something that came out a box anyway, so it's all normal.
     But I will make a complaint towards the instructional value of the pages that they have added in the box to help us fathers. So, there I was turning the piece of paper upside down, right side up, and even looking at the empty but rather soothing backside of the paper, and you know, James Bond himself would have taken it back to MI6 for an analyticity session with Q if he had the chance as it felt like I was building a mini space shuttle for the kid. Though it was in English, I still felt like using some early sign language that I learned as a teenager. Luckily, I'm not a frustrated guy.
    And so, after assembling the frames for all the sides, it was time to drop the piece where the mattress would lay, and wouldn't you know it, the instruction guy at the manufacturers must have been pissed off the day he laid down the plans for the CSS CRIB 0917206686, because it meant disassembling the whole structure again just so I can fit the piece inside. Then, I found myself in an inverted push up position just so my patient wife and her beautiful ass can help me line up the hinges to the holes they belong to. There is no way an overweight person could have done the job since one has to shimmy himself under the frame just so this piece can go in. Maybe the designer thought he/she was compensating more for the weightlessness that we would have in space, where I might say that a spacewalk would have made building this crib much easier.
     After the crib was done though, and I know that even a Klingon battle cruiser would have strayed clear away from it, I turned to my wife and said, "do you want to play dress-up."
     I love my wife because when other things come out of her mouth other than "no", she knows I'll always take it as a "yes." But, after assembling this piece of furniture that could be misconstrued as a part of the kinky side of our bedroom, I finally succumbed to the Romulan head and chest cold that hit our region almost a week ago.
     We're adding the holo-deck next week. Make sure to have an L shape screw driver if you don't feel like disassembling the mini-cruiser just so you can get the mattress base inside.
      I hope this kid will uncover one day, that I have gone into uncharted territories just so I can bring back the tools to build his first spaceship.
      We are off to Home Depot, just to find and L shaped screwdriver, and for a bolt that needs replacing since the manufacturer decided it was funny to make a 2 hour building project last for more than one day.


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